The Longshots

With the draft complete,  the Seahawks filled out their  training camp roster with 15 undrafted free agents. I've covered half of them in this post and will do the rest in my next one. Noticeably  absent were any running backs and quarterbacks.. Somewhere, Mike Tiel and  Justin Forsett are breathing a sigh of relief.
So who are these guys? Only a few of them show up in published draft guides, but you never know where you'll find the next stud, undrafted free-agent. Mack Strong was undrafted coming out of college.

Jeff Byers -- 6'3" 290lbs -- Guard -- USC

Pete Carroll has seen a lot of Jeff Byers because both have been at USC for roughly the same amount of time. A lot of people spend more than 6 years in college... doctors... stoners... but Byers spent six because he missed 2005 and 2006 with injuries. He spent the extra time earning a masters degree. 

If there's an illness or injury, Byers has had it: Hernia surgery, hip surgery, back sprain... Rocky Mountain spotted fever. Health appears to be an issue. And just what the hell is "Rocky Mountain spotted fever?" I don't know, but I'm going to presume it's contracted from a rabid chipmunk bite. If the bite of a radioactive spider can give Spiderman his powers, perhaps the Rocky Mountain spotted fever can turn this guy into a super lineman.

Who knows, Byers has some talent. He played as a freshman, which is no small feat at USC. 

As a high schooler, he never allowed a sack, and once recorded 34 pancake blocks in a game. Imagine his opponent in that game? At a time when  we are becoming more aware of the terrible consequences of high school bullying, I see that statistic as just awful. On the other hand, injured or not, Byers sounds like the "dirtbag" Jim Mora Jr. was  talking about last year. Just like with graduation, Byers showed up a little late.

 Reggie Carter -- Linebacker -- UCLA

 Highly rated as a junior, linebacker Reggie Carter lost some of his shine with scouts his senior year. Regardless, he's a tough guy with a chip on his shoulder who loves to hit and has no qualms about playing special teams. I also like it that he has no respect for USC (see photo).

“In high school I was on every special teams. I was long snapper, I was tackling on kickoffs,” Carter explained. “ As a Sophomore (at UCLA), I played with a torn meniscus because I didn’t want to let (his special teams coach) down. As a Junior and Senior I was told that they didn’t want me to get hurt., I love making tackles, so if I can get out there and make one on kickoff that’s even better." (article)

I like Carter. He's a throwback guy who just wants to knock the snot out of opponents and will buy his mom a new house with a rookie contract. SIGN HIM! He may not beome a starter, but I guarantee you won't be seeing him dancing with the stars or hanging out in Hollywood with Matt Leinert.

“I know I know how to play football,” Carter said.. “I’ve been doing it since I was 8. If I can’t tie my shoes I still know I can play football. If I get an opportunity I’ll show everyone.” --(article) 

James Brindley -- 5'11, 189lb -- Free Safety -- Utah State

He runs a 4.4 in the forty, has a 37-inch vertical, a degree in business finance, and grew up in Grass Valley, California (article). He was first team all-WAC last year and is second all-time at USU in career interception return yardage.

Marcus Brown --6'0" 195lbs -- Cornerback --  Arkansas State

Marcus Brown has just 1 career interception, but he has prototypical size and runs 4.37 in the forty. A star athlete in high school, Brown, allegedly, ran a 4.24 forty in high school (article).

Unrealized potential? I guess we'll see.

Kyle "Care Bear" Burkhart -- 6'5" 290lbs -- Tackle -- Southern Mississippi

If Toby Gerhart was forced to gain 60lbs and switch to offensive line this is what he'd look like. He grew up in Kansas so obviously he's got some post-up moves from his high school basketball days.. I asume he can dunk. He spent some time in community college... but... didn't we all.

I hope he's the second coming of Steve Hutchinson, but if the NFL doesn't work out, I can totally see him going back to his old high school and being the gung-ho gym teacher who looks to mentor a troubled teen who one day makes him proud and breaks his bench-press record. I'm rooting for him and the Seahawks can use all the help they can get along the offensive line.

Patrick Devenny -- 6'3" 240lbs --  Tight End -- Colorado

A former high school quarterback, Devenny had friends who played for Coach Carroll at USC.

"I heard a lot about (Carroll) from (my friend), good things like him being a players' coach . . . he was a guy I admired and always wanted to play for. USC was a little high on the chart for me coming out of high school, but it's weird the way this has worked out," said Devenny.

"All I know is that (Seahawk tight ends) are all really good and I have a lot of respect for them. I knew that my getting drafted was a long shot, but I'd heard before the draft that (Seattle) wanted to see film on me. So I was kind of following what they were doing in the draft. I'm really excited for the opportunity." (article) 

Kevin Dixon -- 6'2" 257lbs -- Defensive End -- Troy

He's undersized and was kind of an unknown before his senior season, but Dixon came on strong, shows speed, and plays bigger than his size. His photo isn't current, but it still makes me feel better about my middle school yearbook photo. My grill was jacked.

STILL TO COME...

DT DeMarcus Granger Oklahoma 

WR Quintin Hancock Tennessee

FS Will Harris USC

C Adrian Martinez Colorado State

LB Joe Pawelek Baylor

T Jacob Phillips Belhaven (MS)

CB Josh Pinkard USC

DE Rob Rose Ohio State

The Newest Seahawks

After the misery of the past two seasons, the Seahawks have dramatically improved their squad through their picks and a few draft day trades. These new arrivals appear like a Navy Seal team rescuing the Seahawk faithful from the prisoner of war camp called losing.

The NFL's new draft format great. It is like waking up to three Christmas mornings... or an abbreviated Hanukkah. By almost all accounts, the Seahawks had one of the best draft days of any team. Through their picks and a couple trades, the Seahawks gave fans some fantastic gifts under the tree.


Let's recap the draft...


1st (6th overall) -- Russell Okung - 6'5" 307lbs - Offensive Tackle - Oklahoma State

Seahawk fans watched the first five picks with baited breath in hopes Okung would fall to them. I'd worked my fingernails down to the nubs by the time Washington drafted Trent Williams, assuring us that Okung would be playing at Qwest Field next year. I bet Matt Hasselbeck's wife broke in tears of joy when the Hawks made the pick. Finally she has someone to protect her husband's blind side.

Seattle's needed a replacement for Walter Jones ever since he went down with a knee injury two years ago. With Big Walt retiring, there are rumors Jones may take a break from sending out motivational tweets to mentor the talented Okung.

Considered one of the top tackles in the draft, Okung will step in and be a starter from day one. Okung is big, strong, and has high character. He may not have as high a ceiling as Trent Williams, the tackle drafted before him, but he's also as sure a thing as there is in the draft. This will go a long way to revamping what was a horrid offensive line last year.

1st (14th overall) -- Earl Thomas - 5'10" 208lbs - Safety - Texas

Taylor Mays may not agree with the pick, but everyone else does. Hawk fans were ecstatic when Thomas fell to them at the 14th pick.

He may not have prototypical size, but at 20-years-old, the talented safety is still growing. His ball hawking skills, speed, and aggressiveness will more then make up for his lack of size. On a Seahawk team severely deficient in play makers, Thomas will give Seattle a player opposing quarterbacks will fear. And in an NFC West featuring Matt Leinert, Alex Smith and a rookie in Sam Bradford, we might just see Thomas take a few interceptions back for touchdowns.


2nd (60th overall) -- Golden Tate - 5'10" 199lbs - Wide Receiver - Notre Dame

It was shocking that Golden Tate fell to the Seahawks 60th pick. Much like the golden arches and Golden Corral, Golden Tate is a great value as a 2nd round pick. I can not believe he was available this late in the draft.

I hate Notre Dame as much as the next guy, but he is such an electric player I am more than willing to forgive him. Seahawk fans are going to love his play making ability. I can just imagine a row of elderly women at Qwest Field next year donning Golden Tate jerseys and calling themselves "The Golden Girls." Talk to your grandmothers about making this happen.

Tate gets knocked for his small size, but he plays bigger, and he always catches the ball at its highest point. He has great hands, makes big catches in big games, and he is dangerous when he has the ball in his hands. He will provide much needed help in the passing and return game.

4th (111th overall) -- Walter Thurmond III- 5'11" 189lbs - CB - Oregon

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic with a sandwich lacking condiments, and a guy with a name like Walter Thurmond III was in the limo beside you. you'd probably ask him if has any Grey Poupon. You'd at least trust him to manage your portfolio. But Thurmond isn't that guy. He's a premier corner back with some serious injury concerns.

On a team that struggled to get interceptions last season, I find it reassuring that most of the pictures of him online feature him with the ball in his hands.

If he can stay healthy, Thurmond could be a solid corner back at the next level. Sure, he's a duck, but Pete Carroll had to game plan for him, so if he's able to draft a Pac-10 rival, then Seahawk fans should be pumped to see him in a Seahawks jersey.

4th (129th overall) -- E.J. Wilson - 6'4" 286lbs - Defensive End - North Carolina

Not to be confused with C.J. Wilson, the defensive end from East Carolina, E.J Wilson is considered a defensive end with a lot of potential. I figured the Hawks would draft Everson Griffen, the highly touted USC defensive end with this pick, but Carroll has a little more insight into Griffen then the rest of us.





 
5th (133rd overall) -- Kam Chancellor - 6'3" 231lbs - Safety - Virginia Tech

Big, strong, fast, athletic... those are all good qualities to have in a safety. The Seahawk roster is thin at defensive back, but Seattle obviously made it the focus of much of their draft.











6th (185th overall) -- Anthony McCoy 6'4" 259lbs - Tight End - Southern Cal

Pete Carroll finally dipped into his old college team with this pick. Anthony McCoy fell down draft boards after he tested positive for marijuana at the NFL Combine. That proved to be an expensive mistake for the skilled tight end because he was expected to be drafted much higher.

McCoy is athletic for a big man and isn't afraid of catching the ball in traffic. He has good hands and runs well with the ball. It will be interesting to see him compete with John Carlson in camp.

7th (236th overall) -- Dexter Davis - 6'1" 244lbs - Defensive Ends - Arizona State

Pete Carroll sure like drafting guys USC played against. Dexter Davis is pretty small and was drafted primarily for his speed and ability to rush the passer. He probably isn't an every down defensive end, but many think he could be an effective third down specialist.






7th (245th overall) -- Jameson Konz - 6'3" 227lbs - Wide Receiver - Kent State

 This is really Jameson Konz's picture. Not exactly what you'd expect from a guy who shocked people with his pro day workout. He is an incredible athlete, with a 46-inch vertical leap and 4.4 40 yard dash. The only downside is nobody knows what position he can play. Some have him listed as a full back or H-back, but the Seahawks plan to try him at wide receiver.

Konz is a wildcard, but he does have rare athletic ability. The Seahawks will need to stock up on shampoo with both Konz and Charlie Whitehurst on the roster.

I can't get over that hair.



DRAFT DAY TRADES
Throughout the beginning of the draft, I kept wondering why the Seahawks weren't drafting a running back. But the new Carroll/Schneider regime pulled off a couple of big trades and landed LenDale White of the Tennessee Titans, and Leon Washington of the New York Jets. That's an upgrade to say the least.

LenDale wasn't seeing much action playing behind Chris Johnson in Tennessee. Now he's reunited with a coach who knew how to make use of his talent. There are always weight concerns when it comes to White, but hopefully the opportunity for playing time will motivate the big fella.

I'm swearing off tequila in solidarity with LenDale doing what it takes to show up fit and ready to run all over the NFC West.

The Seahawks swapped 4th and 6th rounders with the Titans for White. His contract is up at the end of the year.

The Hawks traded a 5th round pick for Leon Washington and a 7th round pick. He is still recovering from a broken leg, but if he can regain his pre-injury form, the Seahawks' running and return game will be much better than last year. This is a huge pick up.

He became expendable when the Jets drafted Joe McKnight out of USC. Washington's contract is up at the end of the year.

The Seahawks also acquired defensive tackle Kevin Vickerson in the LenDale White trade.

Round 1 Mock Draft 2.0

1) ST. LOUIS RAMS: Tracy Orbison (Grocery Clerk-Hy-Vee Grocery Store)

Ever since the Rams let Kurt Warner go, they've needed a franchise quarterback. Having just released Marc Bulger, all signs point to them drafting Sam Bradford with the number one pick. But they won’t.
What St. Louis needs is another Kurt Warner. The former grocery store clerk was the best QB in franchise history and he came out of nowhere. I see St. Louis attempting to  recreate that success by drafting Tracy Orbison, a grocery clerk from the same Iowa grocery Kurt Warner worked at.





2) DETROIT LIONS--Demaryius Thomas (WR-Georgia Tech)
The Lions have needs across the board, especially on the offensive and defensive line. Lions fans are grateful that former GM Matt Millen was fired and won’t be around to wreck their drafts like he did for years. Unfortunately, Matt Millen has crept out of the broadcast booth and is hiding in the Lions’ war room, waiting to pounce... like a lion... a big, disgraced and incompetent lion.

Despite his age, Millen is still a strong dude, and he will physically force the Lions to draft...  yet another wide receiver. Who will be the Lions’ next Mike Williams or Charles Rogers?

That would be Georgia Tech wide receiver, Demaryius Thomas.


3) TAMPA BAY BUCANEERS--Ndamukong Suh--(DT-Nebraska)

Nobody except the Bucs projected both Ndamukong Suh and Gerald McCoy to be available at the 3rd pick. Expecting this, the Bucs were ready when both visited the Bucs on an official visit. Tampa's coaching staff set up a Survivor-like contest, forcing the two to sumo wrestle each other and engage in a hot dog eating contest. Suh won by eating two more hot dogs.




4) WASHINGTON REDSKINS--Toby Gerhart (RB-Stanford)

Now that the Redskins have their quarterback of the future in Donovan McNabb, they will use their 1st round pick to draft their running back of the past. Nostalgic for John Riggins, the Redskins will draft Toby Gerhart, another running back who is bruising, powerful, and... well... white.











5) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS--Jimmy Clausen (QB-Notre Dame)

Charlie Weis loves Jimmy Clausen. Jimmy Clausen loves Charlie Weis.

And since nobody else loves either one of them, they belong together. Plus, if the Chiefs draft Clausen then the Seahawks won’t piss me off and do something stupid like making Clausen their Rick Mirer of the future. I can’t stand that smug prick and I still wish suffering upon the Chiefs for that game Derrick Thomas sacked Dave Krieg seven times. It may be wishful thinking since they have a lot of money invested in Matt Cassel, but I’m hopeful they draft that cocky prick. And unlike with Clausen, Seahawk fans won’t have to fight the urge to punch Charlie Whitehurst in front of a bar. He’s far too pretty.

6) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS--Russell Okung (OT-Oklahoma State)

Seahawk fans breathe a collective sigh of relief as Pete Carrol goes offense and drafts the top-rated tackle in the draft. He may not be the second coming of Walter Jones, but he's better than everyone else we have on the offensive line.









7) CLEVELAND BROWNS--Brandon LaFell (WR-LSU)

Holmgren loves drafting pass-catchers who end up dropping the ball in key moments—remember Jerammy Stevens, Koren Robinson, and Darryl Jackson? So who will be the next ball-dropper to flub a Super Bowl-winning pass or serve jail time? How about Brandon LaFell.





8) OAKLAND RAIDERS--Tim Tebow (QB-Florida)

  Jesus was tormented by the devil for 40 days and 40 nights, but it’s nothing like the horrors Tim Tebow will experience during a 5-year contract with the Raiders under Al Davis. Couple that with sharing film study with JaMarcus Russell and breaking up fights in the coach's office and one can see it won't be long until Saint Tebow is tested in ways Jesus never imagined. This could go two ways, either Tebow leads wayward cast of Raider nation to the promised land, or else he wanders aimlessly through the desert with them, drinking heavily like he's Sebastian Janikowski. 

9) BUFFALO BILLS--Mike Williams (WR-Syracuse)

Playing in the cold wasteland of Buffalo is akin to being banished to a military weather station above the Arctic Circle. Nobody likes playing in Buffalo. And with no top-tier Canadian-born talent available, the Bills choose to go local by drafting Mike Williams from Syracuse. There are numerous character concerns, but the dude is a baller, he'll be ecstatic to be drafted in the 1st round and he can dunk (YouTube video).








10) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS--Rolando McClain (LB-Alabama)

With Tim Tebow already taken, the Jags realize that they won't be putting anyone in the seats next year and consider folding the franchise.

However, the prospect of drafting stud linebacker Rolando McClain to pair with starting quarterback David Garrard in a fund-raiser to fight Crohn's disease (both have the gastrointestinal ailment) proves to be too much of a feel-good story. The Jags could use the defensive help anyway.







11) DENVER BRONCOS--Dez Bryant (WR-Oklahoma State)

With Marshall joining the Dolphins, I see Denver picking up Dez Bryant. When he and McDaniels clash, the Seahawks can offer up a third rounder for him next year.








12) MIAMI DOLPHINS--Derrick Morgan (DE-Georgia Tech)

With Joey Porter leaving to be overpaid in Arizona and Jason Taylor possibly on his way to the Jets, Bill Parcels has to be thinking about the pass rush. Derrick Morgan may not be the second coming of Lawrence Taylor, but he'll be a hell of a lot better than the two guys they got rid of.

When the pick is announced, Seahawk fans will find themselves cursing and opening another beer. He's a lot better than everyone we have on the defensive line also.


13) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS--CJ Spiller (RB-Clemson)

If Frank Gore can run for 200+ yards against the Seahawks on his perpetually-injured legs, just imagine what the 49ers think the explosive Spiller will do to the Seahawks twice a year. Crack another cold one Seahawk fans.










14) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS--Sergio Kindle (LB-Texas)

Given the track record of the new Pete Carrol regime in free agency, there’s simply no telling what they’ll do in the draft. Their moves have all been eyebrow-raising to say the least. But you know what would be totally surprising? You know what would be crazier than giving up a 2nd round pick for a third string QB? Going line backer with the 14th pick. Welcome to Seattle Sergio Kindle.

And just like Jerramy Stevens, a previous Seahawk 1st round pick, Kindle has also been in trouble with the law for crashing his car into an apartment building. Sounds like a Seahawk to me.


15) NEW YORK GIANTS--Mike Iupati (OG-Idaho)

Coach Tom Coughlin’s daughter is married to Giants starting guard Chris Snee. but let’s be honest, Mike Iupati (G-Idaho) is not only a better prospect, but has a rugged and mysterious je ne sais quois.

Who is that man behind the face mask? Coughlin’s daughter Katie wants to know and she's ready for an upgrade at the husband position. And like any good father, Daddy will get his daughter what she wants.








16) TENNESSEE TITANS--Colt McCoy (QB-Texas)

Having just signed quarterback Chris Simms, the Titans have officially announced they're in dire need of a backup quarterback. They also need somebody Vince Young trusts and who can explain the playbook to him. Welcome to the first round Colt McCoy.






17) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS--Gerald McCoy (DT-Oklahoma)

Coach Mike Singletary tests potential picks by seeing who can maintain eye contact with him the longest. The record was two seconds until Gerald McCoy went four seconds before turning his eyes away from the steely glare of the legendary linebacker.

18) PITTSBURGH STEELERS--Janice Masters (QB-Pittsburgh Passion).

With the allegations against Ben Rothlesberger and Santonio Holmes (related article), the Steelers recognize they have a public relations nightmare on their hands. Wary or losing female fans, the Steelers draft Janice Masters of the Independent Women’s Football League. She’s feisty, has a some solid passing stats, and has the size and speed to switch to safety after Rothlesberger returns from suspension.







19) ATLANTA FALCONS--Traded to Philadelphia Eagles for Michael Vick

Ever since the Falcons lost the electric Michael Vick to prison, attendance has been down, So this year, the Falcons trade their 1st round pick to Philly for Michael Vick. Does Vick still have the speed he displayed during his Falcon days? A good way to find out is before every home game. release a herd of crazed pit bulls at midfield and give Vick a 10-yard head start. Attendance up. Karma actualized. And the TV rights for this make millions! The proceeds go to the Humane Society, stadium costs, and Vick’s bankruptcy attorneys.


  


19) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES-- Terrence Cody (NT-Alabama)--Pick received in trade from Atlanta

The Eagles will draft 349 lbs nose tackle Terrence Cody from Alabama. Sure, they could use the defensive help, but they draft him primarily because Coach Andy Reid wants someone one the team who is fatter than he is, and possesses more supple man-boobs. .

Wait for the charity poster of them in Speedos to raise money to fight childhood obesity... and then attempt to wash the image from your mind.







  
20) HOUSTON TEXANS--Eric Berry (S-Tennessee)

The Texans had only one respectable defensive back (Dunta Robinson) and they traded him away. Tennessee safety Eric Berry is supposed to be the second coming of Ronnie Lott and Deion Sanders. Houston will start him at both safety and corner.

Check out this music video about why he should win the Heisman Trophy.



21) CINCINNATI BENGALS--Michael Palmer (TE-Clemson)

The Bengals only have one scout and he’s stretched a little thin. Cincinnati has both of the Palmer brothers on the roster (Carson and Jordan), so who’s to blame them for accidentally assuming Michael Palmer (TE-Clemson) is just another of Carson’s brothers. The Bengals could use a tight end anyways.



22) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS--(traded to Oakland)
Feeling pretty smug after last year's trade of Richard Seymour for Oakland's 2011 1st rounder, Coach Bill Belichek calls Al Davis to see if he's stupid enough to do it twice. He is, and the two swap the Pats 1st round pick first this year for Oakland's 2nd round picks in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014...

22) OAKLAND RAIDERS--Usain Bolt (Jamaica) (picked up from New England)

Everyone knows Al Davis loves speed and Olympic gold-medalist Usain Bolt is the fastest man on the planet.






23) GREEN BAY PACKERS--Sam Bradford (QB-Oklahoma)

Much like Aaron Rogers did years ago, Sam Bradford unexpectedly drops in the draft and the Packers snatch him up. This sets up a new QB controversy in a couple years, a messy divorce, future nostalgia for Aaron Rogers, and something for sports writers to cover endlessly.





24) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES--Anthony Davis (OT-Rutgers)

The Eagles may deny it, by they are a team rebuilding and they've shown with their quarterback change that they're trying to get younger. Rutgers tackle, Anthony Davis, will be only 20-years-old when the season begins. Is that young enough?









25) BALTIMORE RAVENS--Mardy Gilyard (WR-Cincinnati)

Michael Oher was the steal of the 2009 NFL draft. His life story was turned into a movie that won Sandra Bullock an Oscar. Hoping to repeat their success, the Ravens draft Mardy Gilyard, wider receiver out of Cincinnati. Like Oher, Gilyard has his own hard-luck tale of living in his car while working four jobs in hopes of having his scholarship reinstated. In addition, Baltimore could use some speed at wide receiver.






26) ARIZONA CARDINALS--(traded to Philadelphia Eagles for next year's 1st round pick).
Due to some accounting mishap, Arizona doled out $17.5 million to washed-up linebacker Joey Porter. Now the miserly Cardinals don't have the money to pay a first rounders salary so they swap their pick to the Chicago Bears for future picks.

26) CHICAGO BEARS--()
Still short on picks from the Jay Cutler trade, Chicago again deals future picks for the Cardinals first round pick. Unfortunately, they open their war room to offensive line coach, and former Minnesota Vikings coach, Mike Tice. Famous for turning in his draft pick late while with the Vikings, Tice blows it again and forgets to turn in the draft card. Chicago is banished to the 2nd round.

27) DALLAS COWBOYS--Kam Chancellor (S-Virginia Tech)

Having cut safety Ken Hamlin (and Roy Williams before that), for mental mistakes and being to slow in coverage, Jerry Jones pulls another one out of his ass and drafts Virginia Tech safety Kam Chancellor, a big, tough, slow safety that can barely cover a tight end. I can't wait to hear the cell-phone footage of him drunkenly explaining that selection.



28) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS--Dexter McCluster (RB-Mississippi)

There's no way you can replace a Hall of Fame running back like Ladanian Tomlinson. However, you can replace running back Darren Sproles. Sure, they would be better off drafting a power running back  like Ryan Matthews (RB-Fresno State) or Johnathan Dwyer (RB-Georgia Tech). Either, paired with Sproles, would give them a thunder and lightning combo. Instead, the Chargers will draft 5'8" 165lbs. Dexter McCluster, the lightning fast running back from Mississippi.  They add Justin Forsett and they can run the oompa loompa wishbone.


29) NEW YORK JETS--LeGarrette Blount (RB-Oregon)

The Jets are happy to take chances on players with character concerns. In the past few months alone, they've added cornerback Antonio Cromartie (1/2 dozen illegitimate kids)  and Santonio Holmes (marijuana possession, assault allegation). Who can they draft to complete the trifecta? Of all draft prospects, running back LeGarrette  Blount provides the greatest  chance of a felony conviction. His violent outburst during last year's Boise State game was one for the ages. Running back isn't really a need, but the possibility of Blount running wild in the Big Apple, especially with the cameras of Hard Knocks filming, is too much for Rex Ryan to pass up. You can't put a stomach band on drama.

30) MINNESOTA VIKINGS--Dan Williams (DT-Tennessee)

It was the Williams Wall combo of Pat and Kevin Williams that gave the Vikings' defense its identity. Both are aging stars, so to keep the wall intact, the Vikings draft Tennessee defensive tackle Dan Williams. Williams is a beast at DT, but weighs a measly 320lbs. However, with a little boost from Pat and Kevin's (alleged) performance enhancing drug dealer, he could get up to 350lbs.

Brad Childress will wait until the second round to draft his quarterback of the future, Brett Favre's newborn grandson, Parker Brett.


31) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS--Peyton Manning (QB-Indianapolis Colts)

After the Super Bowl loss to Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints, there's been a lot less talk about how Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback of all time.

Colts fans are pissed. Peyton Manning is awesome. Joe Montana wants Peyton's autograph. Brett Favre would jump to back him up. Peyton Manning can do more with his little finger than Chuck Norris can do with his whole entourage.

So just to reiterate how great Manning is, Indianapolis makes him the only player to be drafted twice by the same team.


32) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS--Jahvid Best (RB-California).

Reggie Bush sucks. And to prove it to him, they draft Jahvid Best, a small, but fast back who will outplay Bush from day one and won't fumble every other punt he returns.